I named this blog- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly for a reason. I don't need "fake" in my life. I want to be real to myself and to others. And I honestly don't care if people like it or not. I might not have a lot of money or I might not be the most happiest person in the world, or have the most well behaved kids, or the perfect body, or the right answers to anything but I do know that what I have is what I have and I can't change it. I'm either going to enjoy the good, the bad or the ugly or drive myself crazy trying to be that perfect person.
I don't like fake people. I don't like people who pretend to put up a front for someone to like them. I really don't care if you don't like me. I will not try to be someone else for you to like me. I am who I am. I am overwhelmed on a regular basis, I wear black stretchy pants most days, I have a dirty house 90% of the time, I have more issues than I want to admit, I am totally insecure about myself, I am more concerned about what I think about myself more, I do things for myself and not for others (well unless its my kids or husband), I don't really care to be "green", I probably eat and let my kids eat too much junk food.... Seriously the list could go on and on... but that's who I am. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I don't want to be someone that other people are jealous of because I "look" like I have it all put together. I am the last person on this planet that will ever have it put together. Before I had Caidan I remember talking and reading books or blogs about the lives of other SAHM... it sounded SO great. And that was the problem... no one ever talked about the hard stuff... EVER! No one talked about the feelings of guilt you have as a parent... or the times you want to lock yourself in the closet... or how difficult it would be do to just get the little things done at home... (grant it not every one has two kids in 13 months... but I am not the only person out there).
Yes I want to talk about the good moments, because as a mother I am so proud of those moments. Yes I want to talk about the bad times because those bad times remind me of the good times and remind me to try different things and learn from those bad times. And YES I want to talk about the ugly times because we all have those ugly times they make us human, they make us real.
I love this quote....
So many times I forget to Thank God for any of it... even the beautiful moments. I am learning to enjoy all the moments in life because while they might not be glamorous all the time sometimes those are the moments that might bring joyous moments!
Kalla Balla,
ReplyDeleteThis post is the very reason I adore you. Don't ever try to be someone you're not. It has taken me far longer than I care to admit to realize what you realized a long time ago. I tried too hard for many years to be someone everyone else wanted me to be. And after a while, I realized, I didn't care anymore. I was tired of doing for others, living for others, and trying to impress others when they could have really cared less about me (and that includes family) Honestly, I haven't lived a perfect life. I certainly don't have the perfect relationship. I eat junk i shouldn't, I don't exercise enough, I have HORRIBLE habits, I am moody, mean sometimes, and not the most forgiving person. But that is no one else's business. That is between God & I. Don't ever change who you are. I love love love your honesty :)
Love this, Kalla! I agree with you 100% (been there, done that, still doing it! HA!)
ReplyDeleteLisa