Just some thoughts on my mind

Its so hard to get my thoughts down on paper sometimes... but when I do it feels so FREEING! I am going to try to write more about all these topics but here is what has been on my mind lately.

Financially this month just sucked a big fat ass... Chris works so hard to provide for our family and it seems like he is NEVER home and then when we have months (I pray to God we never have a month like this again) like we just had its frustrating. I have so much to say about this topic so there is another post coming but seriously living pay check to pay check just sucks!

I LOVE love LOVE my kids but lately I have been just feeling totally overwhelmed. I don't know if its the day to day things of house work, kids, kids, house work, kids.... but I have been in a total funk. I mean really bad funk. Some days I pray for the bedtime hour to come just so I can put them to bed so I can lay in bed and read a book or have a little quiet time. Again there is another post about this coming and I feel like I still have a lot of processing and praying and seeking about all my feelings. But a couple months ago Scott Hodge before he left for Thailand spoke about something that I don't remember what it was about but he gave an equation...

A couple months ago when he talked about it it didn't really resound with me... I kind of just thought, "well that probably makes sense!" This past weekend he spoke for the first time since being back and boy did it really mean something to me. Again another post another day... but that equation..... :)

I need more people in my life, more friends. I've probably said this before but my sisters are MY BEST FRIENDS in the whole world but they live 350 miles away... and we are all getting older and Betsy has a family and Sara is enjoying life.

 There is nothing wrong with any of this but they just can't be there for me all the time. So sometimes when I am trying to make friends its hard... because I want them to be like my sisters who I know and who are so honest and real with me. Plus I always find it difficult to have friends whose husbands have "regular" jobs (you know not work 24 hours at a time).

I feel like there needs to be change in my life. I need more structure in our lives. I need to re-recognize my purpose in life. I feel like this is a combination of all my thoughts lately. Things are about to change with Caidan going to school all day, Kloe going to preschool. I'm not sure what life is really going to look like. Lately I have felt like we need to have a schedule in our lives... but I hate schedules... HATE THEM. Maybe because I never follow through with schedules and then just feel horrible because I wasted all that time planning it and it just fails...

I tried not to make this post supper long because there are a lot of  "thoughts" in just one post. It really does help me to process things more.

Happy 5th birthday Caidan

Five years ago seems like a blink of an eye... five years from now seems like forever.

Caidan Alexander, 
You turn 5 today and you have been looking forward to this day since Christmas. Five years ago I got one of the greatest gifts EVER.. YOU! 


You are a great combination of your dad and I! You defiantly got your dads looks... (but I am pretty sure there is some of me in there too), you sometimes have my attitude... you have your smart assness from your dad (which you both think is funny)... you are strong... you are independent... determined... smart... lovable... grouchy... handsome... 


I couldn't have asked for a better son. I hope this next year you learn a lot. I know you are WAY too excited about school and I hope that you always stay excited. I hope you enjoy learning (but from the way Dad and I did I am giving in a 25% chance). 

Caidan, 
I pray this next year you don't let anyone destroy who you are. I hope that you stay Caidan and stick up for what you believe. I hope and pray that you know that Dad and I are always here to listen and support you. I pray that you continue to be that strong and independent boy. I pray that Dad and I can help you with anything that worries or scares you. Thank you for being one of the most WONDERFUL things in my life! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY! You will always be my baby boy!! :) 

Lets Be Honest CONTEST!

I really really LOVE Purex laundry detergent. And I am so excited that I am a part of Purex Insiders.


Purex created a few Let's Be Honest videos. The range from laundry to just being a mom. And they want to know which is my favorite and YOURS! And give you the chance to win a FREE bottle of laundry detergent. 

To watch the videos you can check them out here or here!

And my favorite "Let's Be Honest" video... drum roll.....

#8 Skinny Jeans


Some of the videos I could totally relate too and some I was just really confused... :)

So now you probably want to know how you could win a free bottle of laundry detergent from Purex. Well I will tell you. Purex has sent me 3 coupons for 3 lucky people.

Here is how to WIN:
1) Go here or here and watch the videos.
2) Leave me a comment with your favorite video.
3) Like, share or retweet your favorite. (make sure you leave a comment to let me know)

Contest ends at 9:07pm (central) on July 18th 2012 .

NOW Go watch the videos and report back here soon. :)

Happy Birthday letter to Kynlee

She might not be able to read this, but one day I hope that I will be able to show all my kids there birthday letters I have written them.

Kynlee Elaine,

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to have you in our lives. You have been a breath of fresh air,  a burst of color and joy that I can't even explain. When I was pregnant with you I was so in love with you and I hadn't even met you... when you came into this world my world was filled with so much love for you it was crazy. Yes the first couple months were tricking trying to figure out your issues with reflux, but once we figured it out everything since then has been AMAZING.


You are one of the happiest babies in the world. I know you have your moments... but your human and I wouldn't expect anything else. You have been so different from your brother and sister that at times I am feel like I am a new parent all over again.


Now that you are 1 it is amazing to see how far you have come. You are walking and enjoying your brother and sister so much. I hope that the love I see you have for them will always be there. I hope that the 3 of you will always stick up and hang on to each other. Remember that through everything family will always be your constant.


I am so glad that God allowed your dad and I to parent you. I am so glad that he brought you into our lives. Life without Kynlee would not be the same.

Kynlee,
I pray that as you grow you find your dreams. I pray that you find how much God loves you. I pray that you don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you aren't. I pray that you stand up for who you are and what you believe. I pray that you become a woman who goes for what she wants and doesn't hold back on life. I pray that you know that your Dad and I will always be for you. We will be with you always. Know that we love you with all our hearts.

 

Vacations vacations

This year we had the privilege of taking two vacations... And they were within two weeks of each other. Which isn't a bad thing at all... But if you have kids then you might understand the problem. By the time we got home and got everything unpacked and back to "normal" it was time to start thinking about the next vacations. But really we were blessed to be able to spend time with both of our families.

Vacation #1

Our first vacations was to Gatlinburg which I have to say was a great trip. We got to spend 4 days with my family and it was great. We also got to surprise my mom. She didn't know that we were all coming. And my dad also surprised her for their anniversary by renewing their wedding vows. It was great to see my parents renew their vows after 28 years. And my sister got some great photos of us all! (She is a WONDERFUL and the BEST photographer EVER!) My sister likes to call this "our disfunctional family" :).

We also got to see the mountains in Gatlinburg which were spectacular.We don't get to see such beauty in the flat land of Illinois. :) It was actually very chilly in Gatlinburg while we were there which was very strange since at home was pretty warm, so we didn't get to enjoy it as much as we wanted to but there is always next time.

We did get a chance to go to Ripleys Aquarium which was very awesome . It was just a really cool place and for a good price (I thought) too. And the kids had a blast... Okay I'll admit I had a good time too!       

       

             

Vacation #2
We try every year to go up to Wisconsin for a week with Chris' parents to go fishing. His family has been going there for over 25 years. It really is a great time... sometimes! :) Other than he fact that there is minimal cell service and no internet... But I survive. I don't know how my kids do but I do... barely! :)

I always say that every year will get better for the kids and it does... if only we would stop adding to our family. :) The kids (minus Kynlee) did great. They don't like to fish too much but really I was really proud of them. They found way to entertain themselves and behave. Plus our niece and cousin got to go with so the kids enjoyed that too!

This was Kynlee's first time on the boat and it was a complete fail! She didn't like anything about it... Maybe thats because she doesn't get to do anything either... plus I know they have to wear the life jackets but for infants they are just way to bulky...

We also got to celebrate Chris' parents 37th anniversary. We went out to a local pizza place and it was a great night.

This year I was pretty impressed with myself. The previous years Chris does most of the fixing the fishing poles and get the fish off the hook that are stuck on (or have swallowed the hook) but this year I managed that all! I also took out the boat several times and caught fish all on my own... I think he is making me into a fishing girl after all! :)

And this my friends is truly the best part of it all! Forget the fishing and the family... 

this picture just makes the week all worth it.