Thursday, January 17, 2013

2013 will be better...right??

I had this great post semi written about how 2013 was going to be a better year than 2012, blah blah blah.... But it just doesn't seem to be going that way and I really don't want to eat my words.

So far 2013 has sucked! :) Okay i might have had one or two good days in the last 17 days but so far it has sucked. I really do hate the hype of the "New Year." I always try to tell myself don't set your self up for something that you don't think is possible but I seem to do that a lot. And lets be honest to have 3 kids 5,4, and 18 months everything is unpredictable. What I think might happen today just might be scorched by something that happens with the kids. Maybe its just that my kids are young (and please say that this is the case) but everything that I do revolves around them. Whether I think it does or not it does.

I think I am just tired and frustrated. But I can't remember that last time I got a really good nights sleep (or I should say interrupted sleep in my own house), I don't know why my 18 month old refuses sleep so much. I asked the doctor about it who sent us to another doctor only for them to tell us it sounds more behavioral. Then she slept great for about a week later and now she is fighting every time we put her to sleep. Its frustrating because when I think we FINALLY have a good routine (if you can call it that) then BOOM shes gonna throw you another curve ball and you are going to have to start all over again. And then by the time you figure it out the BOOM happens all over again... or at least that seems how it has been the last 18 months.

Chris was sick since Christmas and it just took a toll on me... well Kynlee and Kloe were sick right before Christmas and both on antibiotics... then they both came down with the flue, then Caidan came down with the flu. Then Kloe and Kynlee went back to the doctor because they had bad coughs and nasty junk coming from their nose... Kloe still had an ear infection.... Chris and I both started to get sick around this time also... then we went to my parents... then we came home and went back to the doctor for all of us but Caidan. Kloe still had an ear infection... i had a sinus and Chris was bad. And Chris continued to get worse as we all got better. He was bad for about 10 days and is finally on the mend now, but all that sickness just takes a toll on me. Kids whine more when they are sick, you don't really (or shouldn't) take them any where. Plus you still need to do everything you should at home. And then by the time they go to bed you are ready too.

I am just struggling with parenting right now and finding a good balance for us all... which just seems unreachable to me. I know that there will be good days and bad, it just feel like we have bad days a lot.
I know I am just complaining and I really don't want anyone to feel sorry...but I need to vent and blogging for me gets the thoughts in my head out... and sometimes lets me focuses on other things...
So if you made it all the way through this THANK YOU!

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