Old Navy Dress Review

I got the chance to try and sample some of the dresses from Old Navy with Crowdtap. I was super excited about this since I have wanted a new dress- you know a causal dress to wear anytime, not a fancy dress for special occasions. Just a casual no special reason dress... (even though I am sure if anyone saw me in a dress they would think it would be for a reason since I don't wear dresses EVER!)

 I took some pictures while trying on dresses, so here are a few things to remember....1) It is the winter months so that explains the lack of color, 2) The mirrors and lighting in the dressing room are just horrible for taking pictures, 3) I had just gotten to my parents after driving 6 hours in the car by myself with 3 kids 5 and under! :) So now that I got that out of the way here are the dresses......

      

I actually tried on two other dresses but was so excited I forgot to take pictures... so you will just have to picture them. One was a wrap dress that Sara insisted I try on.... even though I knew that style was going to be bad! And it was very bad! And the other one I don't even remember so I guess it was that bad too. 

But here is my one BIG problem... so I wouldn't say I am a small girl... more average and I would say that God has given me plenty in the "girls" department (if you know what I mean)... so I was so annoyed that when I tried on the wrap dress (not pictured) and the green dress that it did this in the chest area (see pic below!)

Now I kind of moved the dress around so I wasn't showing my bra (too much) but if I would have worn it how it looked like I was supposed to wear it half my bra was showing. See the shoulder area I pulled up so really the part that is supposed to be on my shoulder is going down my back. if that makes any sense. 

This purple is my favorite one. I just love love love it! I want to find a cute denim or maybe another type jacket to go with it. 

All in all it was an okay time. There weren't many dress to choose from to begin with and then only one looked decant and fit me correctly. They also didn't have my size in a few that I wanted to try on either so that was annoying. I like dresses just not convinced that they like me back. :) 

disclourser: I did receive a dress from Old Navy for this sampling but the opinions of the sampling and dresses are my own.  

Purex plus Oxi Review

I got the chance to try the new laundry detergent by Purex, Purex plus Oxi. Purex plus Oxi is the most powerful Purex detergent available. In fact, it works against over 101 different stains. And since its Purex you know that it won't effect your budget too much.

On a regular basis I use Purex so I was really excited that this had Oxi and Zout stain fighters. But honestly didn't see a difference in how it cleaned my clothes or the kids clothes. I didn't have anything that had a super stain on it that I could test out but on our every day food/markers/play stains it was just okay. I have used some other products before with stain fighters in them that have done the same. I myself have not found one product that have satisfied my needs for stains. Not sure if that means my kids clothes are EXTRA dirty or maybe I am just not doing something right. I would recommend this product because I love Purex and I do think that their products do very well at cleaning my clothes. 

With that said we have a contest. Would you like to one 1 FREE bottle of Purex plus Oxi?? I have 3 coupons available! All you have to do is LIKE Purex Facebook page and then comment here that you have! This contest ends 11/29/2012 at 11:59pm. 

**Purex provided me with a sample of Purex plus Oxi so I could review them. However, all of the opinions expressed here are my own. 

Being Thankful Through It All

I am not sure if I mentioned how very difficult, lately it is for me to be thankful for the every day things in life. Really even the small tiny things. The normal every day things. So you can imagine how hard it would be to be thankful for out of the other things.

Everyone thinks this little girl is cute and quiet and sweet...

while she might be cute she does have her moments.... that aren't too Kynlee like. And they are in the middle of trying to get the older two read too and in bed. I guess I could think "I am thankful that my children are healthy and well enough to be at home..." My thoughts immediately think when is this child going to go to bed.   

I wish that I could be thankful for all these rough times. And maybe I am, maybe I just don't see it now, maybe one day I will.

As I was changing loads of laundry tonight I was trying to think of something that I was thankful for. I am most defiantly thankful for my kids but I just don't want to say I am thankful that they are my kids. I started to think of each one of them and then i realized something. I wish I acted/thought more like a child. I wish that no matter what I could forgive and love someone. How many times a day do I get mad or yell at my kids? How many time do I not listen to them through out the day? How many times do they come up to me just out of the blue and tell me "I love you mom"? And how many times to I reciprocate those..... not as often as I should!

November 6th-
I am thankful today for my kids. For them being able to teach me that no matter what a person does that you should love them and forgive them. I am thankful that my kids can love me regardless of my action or lack of actions.

November 1st- Thankful

I have never had this feeling of "its November I have a lot to be thankful for." But for some reason this year I do. Sometimes I am not always good at seeing the "thankful" moments in life. Lately I have noticed I focus on the "what needs to be done" or "how I can fix it". But this month I want to take the time to be thankful for all the things in my life.


I think this picture sums up everything....

There is a lot to be thankful for in life. So everyday this month on Facebook and here I am going to let you know what I am thankful for. You are more than welcome to join me! If you do let me know in a comment!

November---What I am Thankful for.
1. I am thankful for my husband. He works his butt off to support our family and with out him a lot of what we do with our kids or what we get to do would not happen. So Thank You Chris Ronning for working so hard for us even though sometimes you just want to sleep! :

The "me" is not Me anymore.

I've been on one of those emotional roller coasters lately... Though I seem like my emotions stay down for a while and then I have a good day and then down again.But maybe they loop like this one... :)

I can't really say why I've been down, not because I don't want to but because sometimes I don't even know why. While I was at church on my weekly helping out Ben asked me to do a development worksheet. And I can't tell you how much I needed that at that moment. I had just had a crappy day (well a lot of crappy days) and I felt like I needed to emotionally dump a lot of stuff out. (and honestly too I had felt there had been a lot of signals with talking about this).

I think as individuals we think a lot and don't always talk about our thoughts because we think they are horrible or people might get the wrong impressions. I have been questioning myself A LOT lately on "why I am a stay at home mom"? Is it worth all this "pain" and stress and feelings of guilt and failure? The only thing (well not the only thing but the thing I wanted most) I ever wanted to be growing up was a stay at home mom. I thought it was the best job ever! And I am not saying its not... But I have never met one person that doesn't have days that suck at their job.And I have a lot of days that suck...lately.

Most days I am worn out physically, and mentally. I love taking the kids to the park or going to the zoo or on walks but lately I find myself being too exhausted even in the morning to do anything. I mean I have days where I surprise myself and we get out the door before noon but most days not...and some days we don't even leave.

Honestly I know I am depressed and I've been here for a while... It's gotten worse since Kynlee was born. I try my hardest to stay strong but I'm just so tired of it. I don't want to be strong. I used to tell Chris and myself that I couldn't wait till I had "me" back but what I have realized lately that the "me" I want back is not me anymore. That "me" was 5 years ago before 3 kids. I am trying to find the new me and I just don't know what that is yet. I know the new me is a wife and a mother but I need to feel that in me (if that makes any sense...). I still feel like I am 20 in a way. Yet I am 26 and have no idea where the last 6 years have gone. I hope that sometime in the near future I can figure this new me out enough to find a new balance in life. But right now I guess I just have to take it one day at a time.

The Good, the bad and the ugly...

I named this blog- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly for a reason. I don't need "fake" in my life. I want to be real to myself and to others. And I honestly don't care if people like it or not. I might not have a lot of money or I might not be the most happiest person in the world, or have the most well behaved kids, or the perfect body, or the right answers to anything but I do know that what I have is what I have and I can't change it. I'm either going to enjoy the good, the bad or the ugly or drive myself crazy trying to be that perfect person. 

I don't like fake people. I don't like people who pretend to put up a front for someone to like them. I really don't care if you don't like me. I will not try to be someone else for you to like me. I am who I am. I am overwhelmed on a regular basis, I wear black stretchy pants most days, I have a dirty house 90% of the time, I have more issues than I want to admit, I am totally insecure about myself, I am more concerned about what I think about myself more, I do things for myself and not for others (well unless its my kids or husband), I don't really care to be "green", I probably eat and let my kids eat too much junk food.... Seriously the list could go on and on... but that's who I am. The good, the bad and the ugly. 

I don't want to be someone that other people are jealous of because I "look" like I have it all put together. I am the last person on this planet that will ever have it put together.  Before I had Caidan I remember talking and reading books or blogs about the lives of other SAHM... it sounded SO great. And that was the problem... no one ever talked about the hard stuff... EVER! No one talked about the feelings of guilt you have as a parent... or the times you want to lock yourself in the closet... or how difficult it would be do to just get the little things done at home... (grant it not every one has two kids in 13 months... but I am not the only person out there). 

Yes I want to talk about the good moments, because as a mother I am so proud of those moments. Yes I want to talk about the bad times because those bad times remind me of the good times and remind me to try different things and learn from those bad times. And YES I want to talk about the ugly times because we all have those ugly times they make us human, they make us real. 

I love this quote....

So many times I forget to Thank God for any of it... even the beautiful moments. I am learning to enjoy all the moments in life because while they might not be glamorous all the time sometimes those are the moments that might bring joyous moments!  

Everyone should get to dream

Yesterday I was doing laundry, which I don't really mind the washing and drying part it the after that I like NOTHING about!

And then I started "dreaming" (because I really know that it will never EVER happen) this would be the one thing that if I could I would pay someone to do...laundry!

But then I thought "I really really hate dishes... I could stand folding and putting away laundry if someone just did my dirty dishes for me" (btw- we don't have a dishwasher- well we do, it's me!)

I thought this would be so fun to discuss. So if you let yourself dream for a moment... Let's dream that money doesn't matter... (because we all know that's so fun!!!) If you had to choose one thing that you do to pay someone else to do what would it be!?

Just some thoughts on my mind

Its so hard to get my thoughts down on paper sometimes... but when I do it feels so FREEING! I am going to try to write more about all these topics but here is what has been on my mind lately.

Financially this month just sucked a big fat ass... Chris works so hard to provide for our family and it seems like he is NEVER home and then when we have months (I pray to God we never have a month like this again) like we just had its frustrating. I have so much to say about this topic so there is another post coming but seriously living pay check to pay check just sucks!

I LOVE love LOVE my kids but lately I have been just feeling totally overwhelmed. I don't know if its the day to day things of house work, kids, kids, house work, kids.... but I have been in a total funk. I mean really bad funk. Some days I pray for the bedtime hour to come just so I can put them to bed so I can lay in bed and read a book or have a little quiet time. Again there is another post about this coming and I feel like I still have a lot of processing and praying and seeking about all my feelings. But a couple months ago Scott Hodge before he left for Thailand spoke about something that I don't remember what it was about but he gave an equation...

A couple months ago when he talked about it it didn't really resound with me... I kind of just thought, "well that probably makes sense!" This past weekend he spoke for the first time since being back and boy did it really mean something to me. Again another post another day... but that equation..... :)

I need more people in my life, more friends. I've probably said this before but my sisters are MY BEST FRIENDS in the whole world but they live 350 miles away... and we are all getting older and Betsy has a family and Sara is enjoying life.

 There is nothing wrong with any of this but they just can't be there for me all the time. So sometimes when I am trying to make friends its hard... because I want them to be like my sisters who I know and who are so honest and real with me. Plus I always find it difficult to have friends whose husbands have "regular" jobs (you know not work 24 hours at a time).

I feel like there needs to be change in my life. I need more structure in our lives. I need to re-recognize my purpose in life. I feel like this is a combination of all my thoughts lately. Things are about to change with Caidan going to school all day, Kloe going to preschool. I'm not sure what life is really going to look like. Lately I have felt like we need to have a schedule in our lives... but I hate schedules... HATE THEM. Maybe because I never follow through with schedules and then just feel horrible because I wasted all that time planning it and it just fails...

I tried not to make this post supper long because there are a lot of  "thoughts" in just one post. It really does help me to process things more.

Happy 5th birthday Caidan

Five years ago seems like a blink of an eye... five years from now seems like forever.

Caidan Alexander, 
You turn 5 today and you have been looking forward to this day since Christmas. Five years ago I got one of the greatest gifts EVER.. YOU! 


You are a great combination of your dad and I! You defiantly got your dads looks... (but I am pretty sure there is some of me in there too), you sometimes have my attitude... you have your smart assness from your dad (which you both think is funny)... you are strong... you are independent... determined... smart... lovable... grouchy... handsome... 


I couldn't have asked for a better son. I hope this next year you learn a lot. I know you are WAY too excited about school and I hope that you always stay excited. I hope you enjoy learning (but from the way Dad and I did I am giving in a 25% chance). 

Caidan, 
I pray this next year you don't let anyone destroy who you are. I hope that you stay Caidan and stick up for what you believe. I hope and pray that you know that Dad and I are always here to listen and support you. I pray that you continue to be that strong and independent boy. I pray that Dad and I can help you with anything that worries or scares you. Thank you for being one of the most WONDERFUL things in my life! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY! You will always be my baby boy!! :) 

Lets Be Honest CONTEST!

I really really LOVE Purex laundry detergent. And I am so excited that I am a part of Purex Insiders.


Purex created a few Let's Be Honest videos. The range from laundry to just being a mom. And they want to know which is my favorite and YOURS! And give you the chance to win a FREE bottle of laundry detergent. 

To watch the videos you can check them out here or here!

And my favorite "Let's Be Honest" video... drum roll.....

#8 Skinny Jeans


Some of the videos I could totally relate too and some I was just really confused... :)

So now you probably want to know how you could win a free bottle of laundry detergent from Purex. Well I will tell you. Purex has sent me 3 coupons for 3 lucky people.

Here is how to WIN:
1) Go here or here and watch the videos.
2) Leave me a comment with your favorite video.
3) Like, share or retweet your favorite. (make sure you leave a comment to let me know)

Contest ends at 9:07pm (central) on July 18th 2012 .

NOW Go watch the videos and report back here soon. :)

Happy Birthday letter to Kynlee

She might not be able to read this, but one day I hope that I will be able to show all my kids there birthday letters I have written them.

Kynlee Elaine,

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to have you in our lives. You have been a breath of fresh air,  a burst of color and joy that I can't even explain. When I was pregnant with you I was so in love with you and I hadn't even met you... when you came into this world my world was filled with so much love for you it was crazy. Yes the first couple months were tricking trying to figure out your issues with reflux, but once we figured it out everything since then has been AMAZING.


You are one of the happiest babies in the world. I know you have your moments... but your human and I wouldn't expect anything else. You have been so different from your brother and sister that at times I am feel like I am a new parent all over again.


Now that you are 1 it is amazing to see how far you have come. You are walking and enjoying your brother and sister so much. I hope that the love I see you have for them will always be there. I hope that the 3 of you will always stick up and hang on to each other. Remember that through everything family will always be your constant.


I am so glad that God allowed your dad and I to parent you. I am so glad that he brought you into our lives. Life without Kynlee would not be the same.

Kynlee,
I pray that as you grow you find your dreams. I pray that you find how much God loves you. I pray that you don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you aren't. I pray that you stand up for who you are and what you believe. I pray that you become a woman who goes for what she wants and doesn't hold back on life. I pray that you know that your Dad and I will always be for you. We will be with you always. Know that we love you with all our hearts.

 

Vacations vacations

This year we had the privilege of taking two vacations... And they were within two weeks of each other. Which isn't a bad thing at all... But if you have kids then you might understand the problem. By the time we got home and got everything unpacked and back to "normal" it was time to start thinking about the next vacations. But really we were blessed to be able to spend time with both of our families.

Vacation #1

Our first vacations was to Gatlinburg which I have to say was a great trip. We got to spend 4 days with my family and it was great. We also got to surprise my mom. She didn't know that we were all coming. And my dad also surprised her for their anniversary by renewing their wedding vows. It was great to see my parents renew their vows after 28 years. And my sister got some great photos of us all! (She is a WONDERFUL and the BEST photographer EVER!) My sister likes to call this "our disfunctional family" :).

We also got to see the mountains in Gatlinburg which were spectacular.We don't get to see such beauty in the flat land of Illinois. :) It was actually very chilly in Gatlinburg while we were there which was very strange since at home was pretty warm, so we didn't get to enjoy it as much as we wanted to but there is always next time.

We did get a chance to go to Ripleys Aquarium which was very awesome . It was just a really cool place and for a good price (I thought) too. And the kids had a blast... Okay I'll admit I had a good time too!       

       

             

Vacation #2
We try every year to go up to Wisconsin for a week with Chris' parents to go fishing. His family has been going there for over 25 years. It really is a great time... sometimes! :) Other than he fact that there is minimal cell service and no internet... But I survive. I don't know how my kids do but I do... barely! :)

I always say that every year will get better for the kids and it does... if only we would stop adding to our family. :) The kids (minus Kynlee) did great. They don't like to fish too much but really I was really proud of them. They found way to entertain themselves and behave. Plus our niece and cousin got to go with so the kids enjoyed that too!

This was Kynlee's first time on the boat and it was a complete fail! She didn't like anything about it... Maybe thats because she doesn't get to do anything either... plus I know they have to wear the life jackets but for infants they are just way to bulky...

We also got to celebrate Chris' parents 37th anniversary. We went out to a local pizza place and it was a great night.

This year I was pretty impressed with myself. The previous years Chris does most of the fixing the fishing poles and get the fish off the hook that are stuck on (or have swallowed the hook) but this year I managed that all! I also took out the boat several times and caught fish all on my own... I think he is making me into a fishing girl after all! :)

And this my friends is truly the best part of it all! Forget the fishing and the family... 

this picture just makes the week all worth it. 

Frustrating.

Its so frustrating to want to do everything and not be able to do everything. There is so much in my head that I want to do. And then I never know where to start. Sometimes I feel that we (Chris and I) are very good at half ass things. :) Like:

The living room which was painted over a year ago still needs one wall done- it needs to get painted white and some boards put up for a shelf.

The bathroom needs to be finished- its needs finished painting and it needs trim.

The kitchen needs to be reorganized and stuff moved around. The dishwasher (that has never been used since we have moved in which is only being used to hold our microwave) needs to be gone...

The basement... don't even get me started on the basement.

See I could go on and on and on......

And then I feel like if I just sit and don't do anything that at least I won't feel frustrated! (yeah probably not the best idea!) And then lets add in the day to day things that need to get done.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should really take up boxing you think it would help with my frustration?????? :)

Purex Ultrapacks Review

Last month I got a nice package in the mail. Purex sent me their new UltraPacks laundry detergent. I have to say they are very convenient. No measuring, no scooping, no pouring no rinsing and no getting anything on your hands. Its very very simple...

These are what these little packets look like. Kind of like the packets that you might use for the dishwasher... I am sure you could get confused because they do look a like.

I really like the simpleness of the Ultrapacks. For those times that I am running late and really needed to throw in a load. Directions say to make sure hands are dry but honestly I have held them with wet hands and they don't leave any residue on your hands. (And when it says to use with dry hands I really had to test it because well I am just curious like that. :)) The come in a package of 18. Kind of small in my opinion. I'm not sure what the price is but it would have to be $2-$3 for me to buy these. I honestly really like Purex laundry detergent. I think they do an excellent job of trying to always try and invent new ways for laundry detergent. I honestly can't say weather I would buy these on a regular occasion or not. I am guessing not. 

Although they are convenient 18 loads of laundry would be gone in a week. And I am not sure I want to be buying them every week. Maybe if I was a single person they would be really nice.

All in all I like the product. Purex does a good job with staying on top of what others are doing. 

And you also get a chance to try these babies out. Purex has given me 3 FREE coupons to give away to you guys. So the first three people to comment will get a coupon. 

You can also go to FREESAMPLEPUREX.com and get a free sample. 

***I am a Purex Insider and was given Ultrapacks to review. These are my opinions and my opinions only.

Comforts for Baby Product Review

I had the great privilege to be accepted into the Comfort for Baby Bzz Campaign. (if you want more info on BzzAgent follow the link.... great great opportunities to try new products.)

The sent me a coupon for a free box up to 92 ct diapers, 2 sippy cups and a pack of wipes. The closest Kroger or Kroger store for me is about 30 minutes away (not ideal but for a free pack of diapers? Who cares!) So the kids and I headed out to Kroger and got a package of diapers. While there I looked at there other products which are fairly reasonably priced compared to Target or Walmart brand. The box of diapers were priced at 13.99 (not too bad if you ask me). Wipes were 1.99 (I can't really remember). And formula was 12.99-14.99.

Since buying the diapers (its been about a week) I have used them every day. They are diapers. They do what the need to do. My complaint right now is they leak at night. She wakes up in the morning damp (not soaked) but damp. She also sleeps through the night so she is in them from 8pm -7am. During the day I don't have a problem with her being damp from them only at night. I also think that the diapers look very cheap to me. To me Kroger is a big name store so I would consider there stuff to look better. When I look at the box it looks like there is a well made "stylish" diaper. But when I opened the box I was very disappointed on what they looked like. (maybe that shouldn't be a big deal but I think the look of something matters a lot to people and people judge things by the way things look).

I have used the wipes and really enjoy them. I have found a lot of off brand wipes to be a lot like Pampers (which is totally fine) but I am Huggies girl when it comes to wipes. And I was very very excited to see that the Comfort for Baby wipes were thicker and strong.

We have not had a chance to use the sippy cups as I don't need any more in my house at the moment. But I am sure that they will come in handy one day! :)

All in all I would say that there products on average are okay. I am not to impressed with there diapers to drive all that way for them. And I am not even sure if I was in walking distance from a store I would buy them.

**I am a Bzzagent and received these products to try and give my honest opinion. 

My baby is growing and I don't like it

Kynlee is getting so big!!! I can not believe that she 7 months already! She really is a content little baby. Much much different than Caidan and Kloe who seem to need our attention a lot more.

Kynlee decided she was going to get up on her hands and knees this week. She's been army crawling for a couple weeks now so it was just a matter of time but I wasn't ready for it. Yesterday I also saw her trying to sit up... (which is really funny to watch). I know there is going to be no stopping her soon. All she wants is to be like her brother and sister. It is amazing to me how much she loves them. One look from them and she giggles so hard. It is so cute!

The New Me!

I'm not really new just feeling better than I had a month ago. I went to the doctors about two weeks ago and actually learned some interesting things about my old meds. So I am totally glad I went. I've been on this new med for a couple weeks and although I don't feel like "myself" (I'm not even sure that I know who that is anymore) I am feeling a lot better. I have more energy than I have had in the past okay maybe year... I don't want to sleep the day away or ignore people. There are some annoying things about it like gaining weight (so I am really interested in why anti depression meds make you gain weight.... You would think that they would try to put something in them so you wouldn't gain weight... I mean that makes me more depressed than ever... just my few cents! )... But honestly I haven't had those depressed feelings of not wanting to do anything or go anywhere or talk to anyone.

I am hoping that this is all temperory and that some how I will find the old me again but until then I am going to try and enjoy the me now... You know the new me!

5 years!

Five years ago I never thought I would be where I am today. I never thought that I would have 3 kids and 4 dogs, filled for bankruptcy, lost a house, but most of all I never ever thought that I would really know what "love" was.

You fall in love and think this is GREAT, I love this person... they give me butterflies every time I see them or every time they touch me.  Then you get married and you feel like everything will be great because you can't imagine life without him. But the thing that I realized is all those feelings before we were married are nothing compared to what I feel now... but in a totally different way. (I mean I still find my husband completely sexy and I still get those butterflies every time he looks at me.) I have found that there is a lot more to love than just those "feelings".

I love Chris way beyond those feelings. I love the way he sleeps, the way he handles the kids, the way he takes care of us as the provider, the way he occasionally sings "made" up songs, the way he never apologizes when he passes gas, the way he always can make me smile (even when I don't want too), the way he gets aggravated by the little things, the way he cooks (he is a GREAT cook), the way he likes just the little things in life, the way that we are always thinking the same things..... I could go on and on.... but what I am saying is Love isn't just about those feelings. They are everything about a person that you accept or don't accept.

I could never imagine my life without Chris. He is my best friend and my love. He loves me despite my annoying behaviors, or sometimes my stubbornness, or my laziness.... :) I love that I found the man that I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

Chris,
We might not have the ideal life (you know the one we always dream of) but I would never change what we have for what we want. Our life is perfect to me right now. And even more so that I married you five years ago. I love you more today than five years ago. Thank you for being the perfect man for our family...
I love you!!!
MUWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good bye week

This has been the longest week ever- (okay maybe not really the longest). Last Sunday like a week ago Kloe woke us up in the middle of the night because her ear was hurting. I knew (as probably all moms know) she has an ear infection. and since with our insurance we have to either go to our primary care doctor or the E.R. (and spend $150) I knew I was going to be taking her on Monday. I love love love our pediatrician. she has been with us since Caidan was about 8 months and I just think she is terrific and my kids really like her too. But Kloe, Kynlee and I were in and out of the doctors office in 15 minutes. And i was correct she had an ear infection. Poor thing.... got her antibiotics and I thought we were going to have a GREAT week. Ughhhh how I didn't know what was coming.

(this was Kynlee Wednesday night.... poor baby)

Kloe and Kynlee started coughing Tuesday. It wasn't a "horrible" cough but it didn't sound like a cough that had just started either. It was pretty nasty. Tuesday they both seemed alright other than the cough... But then here came Wednesday... Kloe spikes a fever. Kynlee was a little off. Not wanting to eat a lot.... (which is pretty unusual for her... she likes her food) and just not really wanting to sleep much other than like 20 minute cat naps. (and there isn't a lot you can do in 20 minutes.) And here comes Thursday... I knew this was going to be a rough day because 1. Chris had to work. 2. Kloe was supposed to go to school but because she was sick she didn't (and I hadn't told her.... my policy they don't ask I don't tell:)) 3. It SNOWED! I mean it snowed. The day before I was wearing flip flops it was 50/60 degrees.... B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. I hate HATE H.A.T.E snow. Like I really think the devil makes the snow. And we got like 4-5 inches in a day. And I was STUCK!

(this is 2 hours of snow.... it did not look like this when I got up that morning!)

I can't stand being at home... i love my home... but I just like to be busy... (because if I am "busy" I can avoid all the things that I actually  need to get done in the house.) But sometimes I just need a scenery change. Or get my kids out so they don't drive me crazy (or any more crazy). Or sometime I know if Kynlee is having a bad day I can put her in the car and she will sleep. But this day there was nothing... nada... zilch! I didn't even step out of the house for anything.... it was weird... it felt like a really really really really really long night. I am pretty sure that if my kids weren't sick I would have gotten out of the house. I really don't care what the "weather" is like. And driving in the snow doesn't bother me at all.


Then Friday came and Kynlee spiked a fever. I called the doctors office. And the nurse just said to keep them hydrated and drugged up (haha not really but that would be great wouldn't it!) she just said I can give them Motrin. But I always rotate Motrin and Tylenol when they have high fevers. Kynlee slept okay for most of the day. A little off more than usual but nothing out of the norm for her being sick. Then bed time came and it just wasn't happening. Kynlee wanted nothing to do with her bed or anything. I tried sleeping out on the chair with her... but she loves to sleep on her stomach so she tries to twist and turn and twist and turn. I've tried my hardest to not let her sleep in the same bed as me but I had a feeling I wasn't getting around it tonight. I had tried twice to lay her in her bed and it ending in her throwing up... so I gave up. I put her bouncy seat on her bed and put her in... but she wasn't having that either. Little girl new exactly what she wanted. As soon as I laid her next to me she was out.... it didn't last long at all. But we slept better together than not at all.

So that all to say that I hope to never see that week again! (except now Caidan has come down with this nastiness.............................. sigh!)

God did not give me

He did not give me the gift of house work. I am HORRIBLE at it. Every day I go to bed telling myself "Tomorrow I will be better, I will try to do one extra thing to help me get on track." HA! Then that day comes and goes and I didn't do one extra thing or even the things that needed to get done.

Right now I feel so overwhelmed with the daily task that even adding the "extra" stuff is always just a thought. I hate it... I absolutely hate it. But I can't figure out how to change it. I mean I know how to change it but I can't find the right steps to do it. I've tried calenders before and doing different things a day. I've tried doing laundry on certain days.... blah blah blah. But I never seem to stick with them. Which is why I am glad I have made 2012 the year to simplify.

I know what I want to come out of 2012 but I don't want to get to far into it and then disappoint myself. So I am just trying to take it one step at a time. And the first step is finding a new outlook on my life. I have to accept that I am not perfect. God gave me certain gifts and one of those was not cleaning up after myself or my family. I can't be embarrassed by the things that I am just not trying to work on. I want to change I really do. I REALLY DO. But I believe that there is more that I need to work on in myself- attitude, energy, patients (okay maybe not all my patients), control issues..... before I can begin on trying to change up the house. If you know what I mean.

I know that all sounds a little selfish but you know the saying "when momma ain't happy nobodies happy." Well I really believe that this house has been running on that saying for a while. And I need to change that. And here are a few things that I need to do to change that.

1. I am going to talk to my doctor about changing my medicine. The meds I was taking right after having Kynlee were amazing but it sees now that my body is getting back to normal and I am not nursing anymore those meds are not working like they were. And as much as I don't want to take meds I know deep down that right now and in this season I need them. And unfortunately I can not get in to see her till the middle of the month.

2. Although I despise schedules... I need one in my life right now. I am not going to try to put the family on a schedule at the moment (because well right now its not about them) I do want to work on my schedule. I would love to get up in the morning and start my day before the kids. Now I don't see this happening instantly because well I like to sleep (but that could all change after I do #1 also) but even if it means that I am awake when the kids get up in the morning I will take that right now. I need to find times in the day to accomplish daily things. And I also need to find time for me.

3. I want to set aside time to have with my kids. They are getting older now and can do more things. and I want to do more with them and have fun with them instead of feeling like I am always yelling. They need me and honestly I need them too.

4. Make a list of goals. Big or small- reachable or unreachable. I am not a dreamer at all. I have never really learned to dream. But I want to dream and start to accomplish little goals.

5. Spend regular time with God. I know how important this is I really do and often it is the one that gets pushed aside completely and forgotten. I want to get better at this and I want to start taking time during my day with Him.


I know that those might sound so little and easy but for me they seem BIG and HARD. I don't want to look back on 2012 and say wow that was such a depressing and boring year. I want to see change in my life. So if your the praying type feel free to pray for me while I try to work on myself.

Kynlees' 6 month check

I can not believe that my baby girl is 6 months. Where in the world does 6 months go??? I felt like six months in pregnancy took FOREVERRRRR. And these past 6 months have gone by so fast. :(

At 6 months Kynlee-

15lbs 12oz. She is in the 10th percentile for her weight. (she should be my little peanut!)
26 inches. She did grow a lot in the past two months. But on average the doc said she is about 25th percentile for height.
42 1/4 cm head. which she is still 75th percentile for her head! :)

(a little side note--- I measured Kloes' head after the nurse left and hers is 44cm!- so i am not sure if Kynlee just has an extremely large head or if her body just needs to start catching up with her head?? :))

She is a healthy little 6 month old. She is doing all that she should be doing.

She sleeps about 10 hours at night (thank you God for answering my prayers). She takes anywhere from 2-5 naps a day never more than an hour. She can roll both ways. She eats any fruits or vegetables. She loves to sleep on her belly. She loves to put anything and everything in her mouth (I am in trouble). Her most favorite thing in the world is her Jumparoo.

She really is more than I could have ever imagined! God gave me the best gift!! :)

Good Bye 2011

I feel like only one good thing came out of 2011... Kynlee... She was by far the only good thing that came from 2011. And honestly I am okay with that. That means I can always think of 2011 as the year Kynlee was born and the wonderful moments of that.

2011 was such a blur. Being pregnant half the year then dealing with the after effects of having a baby the rest of the year. I was looking back at my pictures on my phone the other day and forgot so many of those moments we have had. I don't have good pregnancies and although Kynlee's seemed to be the best- its still that feeling of being pregnant, large. uncomfortable, depressed.... you name it I probably dealt with it.

After I had Kynlee I feel like mentally I went down hill. I really believe that I was dealing with postpartum depression. I quickly (and thankfully) got on meds. Which did wonders for a while and then just seemed to not work. I feel like I had no energy to do anything. I wanted to sleep all the time. I thought the problem was my medicine, so I called my doc asking if we could up it. So we did. it felt like it help for a day and then back to the same old problems. And on top of that all the meds made me gain about ten pounds. Which really they need to come up with medicine that doesn't make you gain weight, because when you are depressed the last thing you want to happen is gain weight. (in my opinion.)

I am just not sure that I can say I learned anything from 2011. It was a whirlwind of a year and one that I am happy to have over.


There is a lot I want to accomplish in 2012 (but we will save that for another post). But her are some great memories from 2011.

Thanks 2011 for bringing Kynlee into this world.

First hair cut

I cut Kynlee's hair today... it was driving me INSANE! She looked like she had a mullet in the back... so I took it off. That's all... but holy cow it looks like a lot.

The other two kids both had their first hair cuts around the same age also. So it not surprising for my kids.

I wish I would have taken a picture but I was the only one here... and I was cutting.

The one thing I can never stand about babies hair is that it doesn't grow out the same. I remember with Kloe it took her hair forever to be all the same length. And it still isn't all the same. The back always seems to grow faster.... and then you have the top and sides which always seem to be at awkward lengths... I just can't wait for Kynlees hair to be grown out some! :)

Hello 2012

I can not believe that 2012 is already here. I am excited to see what 2012 has in store for us.

That is the one word that I want to describe 2012. I don't really know what it is going to look like or what is going to happen. But I am kind of excited about it. I know I really want to simplify our home life. I feel that we are beyond blessed with the things we need and what we want. Maybe we can slim all that stuff down.

I also want to simplify my life as a mother. I feel sometimes that its just go go go go go and Mom, Mom, Mom... I want to learn to simplify my job as a house wife, cook, mother and friend so all those things aren't overwhelming.

I really don't have a plan. I just know that I want to take one day at a time and see where we are at the end.

What's your 2012 ideas, goals???