This past weekend was very good for me. For the first time in a long time I let my self think... Sometimes it is very hard to just let your self think when kids are at your feet begging for something or whining because someone did something to someone... blah blah blah. Here are a few things I got to think about and ponder more.
1) I need to spend daily time morning, afternoon, or evening journaling/praying/reading the bible. I am not exactly sure what this is really going to look like but I do know it is something I need to stop making excuses about and just do it. I need more truth in my life. I need more time to "be still". I heard a study that was done for scientific reason (not spiritual or religion based) that people who spend 5 or more days a week meditating, praying, journaling... are more to over come depression. But people who do it less than 5 times a week have no effects to depression. There have been so many things in the past 4 days like this that I really believe God has been place in my path for me to hear! :)
2) I will not let my depression define me. I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to be excuses for my life. I will fight through it because it is not me. There are lies and words that I speak to myself that aren't healthy. They aren't of God. Do i really believe that God would let me think "I don't want to be a mom anymore?" Do I really believe that God put that desire to be a mother in my so long ago would put that lie in my mind??? No I do not. I could go way more into this... so if you want contact me and I can tell you more about this. :)
3) I have to realize that what I believe causes my depression isn't going to change. There is no "magical" drug or fix for it. I can run from it... taking meds isn't going to fix it. But also I need to put #1 and #2 into action because ultimately those two things are what are going to put me on the right path to fight this.
I will not be defined by my circumstances in life... but I will be defined by what God calls me! :)